Funny how The Universe works sometimes.
Last weekend I was at one of those low ebbs of the winter months. I was cleaning out the stall area. My two horses quietly munching on their evening hay in the corral area just a few feet away. Hubby bustling around picking up my slack on the evening chores.
I looked around the area, discouraged by the mud, snow, stuff in the stall and asked out loud "What am I doing all this for?" I had a meltdown.
I told Hubby I'd made a mistake with the horses. I should have never bought them. I wasn't spending enough time with them. Last year alone I can count on one hand, probably, how many times I saddled them, let alone actually rode Bo. They were in their prime and I wasn't. On and on I blubbered.
Hubby, being the understanding sort he is, listened. Then, when I was done, he said simply, as is his way, "You know you would be unhappy if they went somewhere else. You probably wouldn't forgive yourself either."
I knew he was right, but I've been feeling, over the past couple of years, with all my health issues and then my parents' health issues, I just haven't had the energy to spend quality time with the horses. I feel like I'm letting the horses down, and my dream was more an illusion.
Well, you know, we women tend to have these meltdowns once in a while.
Low and behold, the very next evening, my friend Lori called. I hadn't talked to her in months. She is my horse-friend. We bonded over horses about 6 years ago. We both worked at the riding stable as assistants. We were close to the same age-over 45, so, we had lots in common. You know sometimes when you meet someone and it's as if you've known them all you life? That's how our friendship feels.
So anyway, Lori had her down times in '09 too. We talked horses for over an hour. I told her how I'd been feeling, that my enthusiasm for my horses had curbed. She said she understood but now, we needed to get back in the saddle, so to speak. We made some plans involving horses for the coming year, and I could feel my enthusiasm return.
I told Lori she must have been picking up my vibes to have called at just the right time.
Funny how The Universe works at times.....
So, though my enthusiasm for the horse-life was curbed for about 48 hours, I can see the light again. I remember why I have my horses and what they mean to me. Sometimes, the Universe knows more about what we need than we do, we just need to listen.