Rainbow Wedding

On June 2, our youngest son got married. He and his bride are both twenty-six. Our new daughter-in-law is a vibrant, beautiful, outspoken, kind woman. The two of them together are like the old saying "two peas in a pod", yet, they are sometimes just as different as they are alike.


I love their story. They went to the same small rural high school and graduated in the same class. She'd moved to the district in their junior year which sort of made her an "outsider" as often happens in small schools. By high school most of the friendships are sealed and the new kids are always the new kids. She says she had a crush on my son from the very first day she saw him. She even boldly asked him out. However, he wanted nothing to do with romantic involvements at that time. Actually, my son just didn't date in high school. He concentrated on his school work to keep up his 4.0 gpa, participated in soccer, quiz bowl, played the bass guitar, sang in chorus, and participated in class plays. He said he didn't want the hassle he saw girlfriends produced. She dated other boys. She was friends with his friends.They often all hung out together. They remained friends through high school then on graduation went their separate ways. She stayed in the area and attended the local university. He went away to Athens, Ohio to attend Ohio University. Through the power of social media, they stayed in contact.


Now, somewhere in those college years, while remaining Facebook friends, they jokingly made a pact. If neither one of them were in a serious relationship, or married, by the time they were twenty six, they'd marry each other. Our son moved home after college graduation in 2008. He was the best man at his older brother's wedding that year. He spent over a year searching for a job.The following year, he and his now bride, started dating and this time he was the one who asked her out. She  says that she turned him down the first time because he had turned her down back in high school. She didn't hold out very long and they dated for a couple of years before he popped the question in December 2010 and she said yes. He'd also been fortunate that year to find a full-time job, though 75 miles away from our home and her.They made another pact, and made the move together where she was fortunate to also find a job.


Their wedding was, simply put, them. Rainbows and lollipops is how she described her day. She wanted the theme because she said that's how being with my son made her feel and she'd never felt that way before.


The ceremony was held at a historical local museum. The building is early 1900's architecture and has a large center room to accommodate a variety of events. The bride's dress was a bouncy, just above the knee, ivory, strapless piece, fitting to her personality. The groom wore his first ever fitted suit,which he was very proud of. An orange paisley bow tie and matching orange argyle socks you could barely see as he walked, but added a hint of fun to his herringbone gray suit. 

The bride walked into the room, on the arm of her father, to the upbeat "Hooked on a Feeling", the version by Blue Suede with the ugga chuggas at the beginning. That brought smiles all around. Her father kissed her cheek and shook Son's hand. There was a pause I noticed, as he turned to take his seat. After all, she was his youngest daughter, his baby girl. The couple had written their own vows to each other which were both touching and funny at the same time. After they were pronounced Mr. & Mrs, they skipped out of the room to the song "I'm Walking on Sunshine" and attendees waving rainbow streamer sticks.


At the reception, rainbow colors dominated the centerpieces, though nothing fancy, just fun. Homemade sand art in small fishbowl glasses with rainbow colored lollipops and pinwheels. Small colorful Dollar Store metal buckets holding rainbow color tissue flowers. Crayons on the tables for guests to draw on the white butcher paper tablecloths. There was a photo booth for guests to have fun pictures taken and people had a blast with it. The couple get the scrapbook with all the photos.The reception was just plain joyous. 

The bride and groom wanted their wedding to be fun and they succeeded. From the music to the whimsical, homemade centerpieces, you felt the joy the entire evening. Many of the guests commented they'd never had so much fun at a wedding. Though non-traditional by most standards, their wedding was what all weddings should be, a joyful occasion.

Hiatus

I've been missing from a lot of things since the end of March. Yes. We do have a new German Shepherd pup who is now four months old. Let me just say, puppies are hard work AND it's advisable to have a fenced in area to make your life easier when it comes to potty time. Live and learn but right now I'm very tired of linking up Pup to her leash to take outside to do her business up-teen times a day. 

We live out in the country and over the years we've had no need for a chain link fence. We have board and rail out by the road. We don't have much traffic because it's a dead end, except on the weekends when ATV riders invade. I should have planned better. Hubby is in the planning stages for a front porch and fenced in area for Pup. I hope my patience holds out.


All in all she's housebroken. She enjoys her den (large crate with comfy cover) at night. She has never cried or whined when put to bed or when put in her den because I have to leave. However, I can honestly say, puppies are much more work than babies. You have to plan for everything, every day. Something I haven't done for a very long time. I haven't even spent this much time with my horses which makes me sad and irritable at times. She's a smart pup, but she's still a pup and all that brings into it. This is the first time we've had a pup living in residence. The majority of our dogs over the years have been adult rescues. We have two older dogs who run the other way when they see Pup outside. They are both outside dogs. 


I was ill with some mysterious ailment the week she came home. Made dealing with a new 8 week old pup much, much harder. I had to ask Hubby to take a few days off from work.Took me over two months to feel right and my endocrinologist re-adjusting my thyroid medication. Having had thyroid cancer three years ago I've been kept at a suppression level which evidently had me finally hitting a proverbial wall when I stressed myself to exhaustion. I'm also a T1 diabetic, on an insulin pump, but D actually leveled out and wasn't much of a problem. Probably because I didn't feel like eating! I've lost twenty pounds. The scary part, I wasn't trying. 


Hubby is the playmate she looks forward to seeing each evening. He plays with her off leash. I'm the disciplinarian. I keep her on leash through the day and we walk around the property.At least I feel I have to establish all the rules and boundaries day in and day out. I can say that things have gotten better, but many days I look forward to her sleeping all afternoon. The weather has been pretty good for us this spring which makes me inwardly grumble that I haven't spent more time with my two horses. 


I tried to take Pup to puppy classes but she kept getting car sick during the twenty-five minute drive and after three classes I was tired of cleaning up messes. Plus it was during the time I still wasn't feeling so great myself. I tried various methods people told me about and I read on line to help Pup through car sickness. So far, nothing worked. I'm hoping she outgrows it. I'm also hoping the long three hour drive when we brought her home hasn't ruined her for life with car/truck rides. We'd hoped to have a truck riding dog. We can't even get her comfortable riding in our side-by-side utility vehicle around our property. She is visibly scared and uncomfortable.


Pup has learned a lot in these four months. She's very good with basic commands. She plays catch. She enjoys running an old volleyball around the yard. She is not very good with our old Buddy cat which has been a major source of tension. She doesn't hurt him but in her puppy way she just won't leave the old guy alone when he simply wants to sleep on the chair. I've resorted to leaving him in the bedroom with the door closed when he wants to be in the house. I just don't want to deal with the aggravation.

All this puppy raising is a learning experience. I've learned a great deal about myself through it too. My husband posted a note near the computer:  Nan kuru nai sa which he told me means It'll all work out.  That's my current mantra.


On a happy note, our youngest son got married on June 2. We now have both our sons married off and out on their own. Well, youngest son was already on his own but when your son takes a wife, you realize THIS IS IT, my job is pretty much done now. I'm so happy for my son and his bride because they were best friends before becoming husband and wife. That is something I'd always told both sons over the years. Oldest son is going on four years of marriage. Both he and his wife call each other "best friends" too.  Nice to know the kids sometimes listen!

Happy Birth Day to my youngest

My baby boy's birthday is today. He's 23 years old. Yeah, I know, not a baby, but he's the youngest of my two wonderful sons. Plus, as all moms know, your babies are always your babies. That goes for the horses in the family too, huh?

Anyway, I woke up this morning thinking about #2 son and his birthday. How could I not? He lives here with us right now, having graduated from college in June, but of course, no job yet. He does have an interview today! That was good news for his birthday.

He is different from his older brother. He is more like his dad. Quiet. Thoughtful. Contemplative. Patient. I can pretty much figure him out because I have Hubby figured out. Ok not all the time.

Yesterday, I went shopping with #2 son to help him find some appropriate job interview clothes. Having just graduated from college, he doesn't have much in that kind of clothing. He found a medium blue shirt he liked, and it was on sale, but was having a hard time picking out a tie. He has two ties at home, dark blue and black. Black pants. He was going for gray pants but couldn't find any in his size or style. He doesn't go for pleated fronts. So we're standing around the tie racks sorting through ties. Naturally, I go for the blues and reds, or grays with blue/black designs and stripes. He picks out a tie that is yellow/gold with black stripes. I didn't want to hurt his feelings but I sure didn't see the match there. He held the tie up to the shirt and since he was wearing black pants said he felt it was a powerful color combo. Okey dokey son. I just know that color combonation wouldn't have been my pick. But then I realized it's what will make him feel confident that matters, not what I like. And at 23, if he weren't living at home, I wouldn't be part of this process anyway!


By the way, when he got dressed to go for his job interview this morning and had on his ensemble, I was impressed. He had made a good choice. With his dark good looks, the whole outfit really set him off, making him look very professional. Looks like he has a good eye for colors after all!


Today will be a day of memories for me. Thinking back how at 7:30-something on this day, twenty three years ago, my husband and I were entrusted with a beautiful little soul to mold, love, teach, through his formative years. He has grown into a fine young man that I am always proud to say is my son. Isn't that a wonderful feeling?

Moments

Our lives are composed of moments. The moments eventually meld into memories. In my later years, I have learned to absorb the special moments when I feel them upon me. I feel I lost many moments in my younger days because I was too focused on what's up ahead. There are memories my family will bring up but I don't remember the special moments they do, simply because I was focused somewhere else. I have awakened to the light that moments make memories and as that revelation dawned on me a few years ago, I now try to absorb the essence of special moments.

Yesterday was an example. I take my dad to his doctor appointments every three months. My dad turned 80 a week ago. He's not in the best health but he keeps pushing along, some days are harder for him than others. But he's always been a warrior in my eyes. As much as I dread taking him to the doctor, I also relish the time spent with him. He is still so funny sometimes, making me laugh with comments about this or that. He and I have always had a special bond. I was an only child and definitely, "Daddy's girl". My dad has been my hero.

I dread these appointments because I fear what the doctor may say. Even though I realize Dad is 80, and battling COPD, the thought of losing him is what I fear the most. I don't know how I will react. No one knows this until you go through it. So, I've decided to make these couple of hours we spend together simple joys, just by remembering simple things that happened. One appointment day, there was a woman in the doctor's office who'd been brought in by a squad. She was in a bed with IV and oxygen. My dad started walking over to her. I thought for a moment he had lost his way, but he simply walked over to the woman, leaned down and said "Hang in there!". She smiled and told him "Thanks, I'm trying." That moment, could have been a special touch for that woman. Could have lifted her spirits when she needed it most. I was proud of my dad, but then I've always been proud of him. A moment I know I will always remember.

Yesterday evening, #1 Son came home for a visit. His new wife is traveling with her job through the week. He's taking graduate classes, but right now, early in the quarter, he gets a little lonely. Even Reese Cup, their 4 month old kitten, isn't enough to keep him company completely. #1 Son lives about an hour away so it's not a really long drive, not too much gas to buy on their tight budget, so he says. I think he just wanted our company for the evening.

We have a little patio area at the back of our house, faces up into the wooded hillside. This time of year, Hubby will often build a fire. Towards dark, Hubby collected firewood from the hillside. He and #2 Son started a fire in the little homemade fireplace which we call the Tiki God. Hubby made this fireplace from an old water tank. He fashioned eyes, nose, mouth, welded on metal earrings and it has a crown for it's head where flames can shoot out. He was feeling very artistic when he built it a few years ago. His favorite thing to do is build a fire on chilly evenings and just enjoy an hour or two sitting by it, listening to the crackle, trying to ignore the neighbor dogs barking incessantly at times, and we often talk. This evening, was even more special because the four of us were reunited.

Hubby and I moved the bench back a little and brought down two Adirondack chairs, placing them all in a semi-circle in front of the fire. #2 Son got his banjo out. He's been teaching himself to play this summer, while also job searching. He's pretty good at the banjo. Not having so much luck at the job hunt yet. He's a history major, so that says volumes. But, as we tell him, if that's what you want to do, keep at it, something will come your way. The mood was quiet. The banjo music keeping us entertained. We also talked about things, the four of us. Nothing important. We joked remembering some past memories. #1 Son talked about his classes and other things going on in his life since going out on his own as a married man. I sat there listening to the talk and I thought to myself, this is one of those special moments. So simple yet so significant. A good moment to keep close to my heart.

As a young adult I think I spent too many years worrying about things that might happen and I lost alot of good moments. I try not to do that anymore. Habits are hard to break, I do relapse into old ways of thinking. But I try to focus on the here and now so that later, I'll have memories of the special moments because those are what really make a life.