Rainbow Wedding

On June 2, our youngest son got married. He and his bride are both twenty-six. Our new daughter-in-law is a vibrant, beautiful, outspoken, kind woman. The two of them together are like the old saying "two peas in a pod", yet, they are sometimes just as different as they are alike.


I love their story. They went to the same small rural high school and graduated in the same class. She'd moved to the district in their junior year which sort of made her an "outsider" as often happens in small schools. By high school most of the friendships are sealed and the new kids are always the new kids. She says she had a crush on my son from the very first day she saw him. She even boldly asked him out. However, he wanted nothing to do with romantic involvements at that time. Actually, my son just didn't date in high school. He concentrated on his school work to keep up his 4.0 gpa, participated in soccer, quiz bowl, played the bass guitar, sang in chorus, and participated in class plays. He said he didn't want the hassle he saw girlfriends produced. She dated other boys. She was friends with his friends.They often all hung out together. They remained friends through high school then on graduation went their separate ways. She stayed in the area and attended the local university. He went away to Athens, Ohio to attend Ohio University. Through the power of social media, they stayed in contact.


Now, somewhere in those college years, while remaining Facebook friends, they jokingly made a pact. If neither one of them were in a serious relationship, or married, by the time they were twenty six, they'd marry each other. Our son moved home after college graduation in 2008. He was the best man at his older brother's wedding that year. He spent over a year searching for a job.The following year, he and his now bride, started dating and this time he was the one who asked her out. She  says that she turned him down the first time because he had turned her down back in high school. She didn't hold out very long and they dated for a couple of years before he popped the question in December 2010 and she said yes. He'd also been fortunate that year to find a full-time job, though 75 miles away from our home and her.They made another pact, and made the move together where she was fortunate to also find a job.


Their wedding was, simply put, them. Rainbows and lollipops is how she described her day. She wanted the theme because she said that's how being with my son made her feel and she'd never felt that way before.


The ceremony was held at a historical local museum. The building is early 1900's architecture and has a large center room to accommodate a variety of events. The bride's dress was a bouncy, just above the knee, ivory, strapless piece, fitting to her personality. The groom wore his first ever fitted suit,which he was very proud of. An orange paisley bow tie and matching orange argyle socks you could barely see as he walked, but added a hint of fun to his herringbone gray suit. 

The bride walked into the room, on the arm of her father, to the upbeat "Hooked on a Feeling", the version by Blue Suede with the ugga chuggas at the beginning. That brought smiles all around. Her father kissed her cheek and shook Son's hand. There was a pause I noticed, as he turned to take his seat. After all, she was his youngest daughter, his baby girl. The couple had written their own vows to each other which were both touching and funny at the same time. After they were pronounced Mr. & Mrs, they skipped out of the room to the song "I'm Walking on Sunshine" and attendees waving rainbow streamer sticks.


At the reception, rainbow colors dominated the centerpieces, though nothing fancy, just fun. Homemade sand art in small fishbowl glasses with rainbow colored lollipops and pinwheels. Small colorful Dollar Store metal buckets holding rainbow color tissue flowers. Crayons on the tables for guests to draw on the white butcher paper tablecloths. There was a photo booth for guests to have fun pictures taken and people had a blast with it. The couple get the scrapbook with all the photos.The reception was just plain joyous. 

The bride and groom wanted their wedding to be fun and they succeeded. From the music to the whimsical, homemade centerpieces, you felt the joy the entire evening. Many of the guests commented they'd never had so much fun at a wedding. Though non-traditional by most standards, their wedding was what all weddings should be, a joyful occasion.

Life moves on, back to routines

The wedding on Saturday was beautiful! Could not have asked for a better day. This wedding was not one orchestrated by a wedding planner. It was not fancy. Keep it simple was the bride's motto. The families put this wedding together and it was always "we're just going with the flow." As it turned out, everything did flow.

We had people tell us it was the best wedding they had ever attended because it was so full of love, which could be felt by everyone. That's a wonderful feeling! The following reception was laid back, lots of music and everyone enjoyed themselves. #2 son gave a fantastic toast to his brother. I was so proud of him! His brother has always been his best friend, and visa versa. I do agree with the minister when he told me and my husband that we were blessed to have such a loving family. Blessed indeed!

So this morning, Monday morning, I'm still sort of reeling from emotions, but I'm planning to get myself in gear. #1 son and his bride stopped by the house yesterday to pack up more of his stuff. They won't be taking their honeymoon for a few weeks. When #1 son left yesterday evening, I did start crying, mostly for my own loss. I sure will miss talking to #1 son, we have a special bond. I have a special bond with both sons, but for differnt reasons. Fortunate or unfortunate (for #1) we are alike in our personalities. When #1 son drove out of the driveway, I did break down for a few minutes. Hubby was there to comfort me, and told me even though he hadn't show much emotion this weekend (just like a man!) he will miss #1 son too. Ok, I need to quit dwelling on this because I'm starting to cry again............move on............

All our animals knew something was up on Friday and Saturday. We were completely off our usual schedules for two days. The horses were being more rambunctious than usual. Bo had been running Spirit around. They hadn't been out to their evening graze areas. They don't seem to be eating that pathetic hay I bought. The dogs didn't know what to make of the coming and goings. Yesterday evening when #1 son and his bride were packing his stuff in the car, Maggie laid as close to the cars as possible. Usually, she's running all over, up in the woods not really paying attention to what's going on at the house. Yesterday, she seemed sad. #1 son had rescued her a few years ago. She'd been left at the park he worked at. She and he have a bond. She knew something was going on with him. His bride petted her before they left. The only one who didn't seem particularly affected was Buddy the cat. He didn't appear until after #1 son had left, so he probably has no clue, unless of course he was watching, in hiding, somewhere up in the woods.

We got back to routine yesterday and everyone seems calmer. I've read some articles that say keep your horses on a different schedule. Don't get a routine going that they can count on then they'll be better off when the routine is broken. Well, that doesn't work for me because I tend to be a routine type person. I can sure tell when we've gotten them all off routine. It just seems to create confusion in the animals and a sense of unsureness. I prefer to keep to the routine. However, I'm not against doing things a little different once in awhile, just to shake things up. Guess I accomplished that this weekend, for a while anyway.

Reflections

Only 1 day to go. Today I seem to be in an odd place. I want to be happy. I promised myself I'd be happy. I'm having to dig deep.


Saturday, #1 son is getting married. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled. His bride is an intelligent, caring, motivated, beautiful young woman. I can see she cares about him deeply, and he feels the same about her. But, I suppose, as with most moms, my feelings are mixed. I'm not the kind of mom who hangs on. My mission with my sons has always been, raise them up so they can deal with the world and get out there in it. #1 son, as I refer to him, only because he is the first-born, will finally be taking that leap into the world of "grown ups".

This wedding thing has been hitting me harder than either of his graduations. I didn't get teary eyed when he graduated from high school. I didn't even shed one tear when he received his college degree. Those events were stepping stones for his future and I was there to share. Now, with this wedding, I find myself misty and teary. I suppose it's because of the actuality that he is now on his own.

He and his bride will be moving about 62 miles away, which isn't all that far, but far enough. I am fine with that. He's been around this house for the past 25 years of his life. He chose to attend a local university instead of going off to a campus away from home, so he has lived here and commuted to classes. Part of that decision, I'm sure, was because his girlfriend at the time (his bride-to-be) was still in high school. They are high school sweethearts. I wasn't sure if they'd survive a long distance relationshihp when she decided to attend Ohio University, but they did. The miracle of the internet, Facebook and cell phones!


Over the years, I have told people I would welcome the time they did decide to get married, although they didn't officially become engaged until May of this year. They have been a couple for 7 years, since 2001. But as the time draws nearer I find this flood of emotions I don't really understand a little frustrating for me.


She finished her degree at OU in March. I have always stressed to him the importance of not standing in her way. Be supportive I always told him. He listened and I'm glad he did. He is a stronger man for it, probably a better husband, allowing her to follow her dreams. She traveled to Europe two years ago, without him, backpacked with her roomate through France and Italy. Last year she spent three months at an internship in New York City as an editor for a popular women's magazine. Not a small feat for a small town girl. I have immense admiration for her and for him too.


After their engagement was announced, within a month, they decided to get married in August. People were aghast at the short turn-around. Each time we told someone they were getting married in August, the question would be "This year?" And then when we said yes, a look of surprise every time.


They decided on this short engagement because their now entwined lives have taken a different turn. #1 son has decided to attend graduate school and she has had the good fortune to secure a full time job, thus, supporting him in his effort to be more marketable in the "grown up" world. He hasn't had much luck at finding a job with his BS degree, thus his living here at home for the past 3 years. And since she is finished with school for the time being, she encouraged him to follow his dream. If a higher degree would help him get where he wanted to be, she was there to support him. She isn't working at the job she really wanted, but she has said it's what she wants right now.


They are young. They will undoubtedly move on. What impresses me the most, is how they are really trying to work together. I hope they will always be able to be each other's shoulder. I have a refrigerator magnate that I have stuck prominently on the freezer top that reads: "Happiness is being married to your best friend." That's how I've always felt about Hubby and what I have hoped my sons would find. I believe #1 son has found it in his soon to be bride.



So, why all the melancholy? Why do I feel teary eyed one minute and elated the next? I don't think I felt this way before my own wedding! Looks like it's something I'm going to have to deal with. I didn't want tears at the wedding. I wanted happy and smiles! Laughter and hugs! I'll probably get that too, after the tears have dried. So, adding to the hoof beats and paw prints in my life will be the foot steps of my son as he walks into the world with his new bride.

Always trust those ears & eyes

My plan had been to keep up with my blogging at least on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Really got off that schedule this week, but with good reasons.
Tuesday, #2 son and I helped #1 son get his fiance moved from her apartment to the house they're renting. The big wedding day is only two weeks away from TODAY! Oh my! Considering #1 son and fiance sort of threw this wedding at both families with only 2 months notice, I think we're all doing great. The kids have been together forever,ok, officially "going together" since '01 (he was graduating high school, she was at the end of her freshman year) but he finished his college in '05, and then has waited on her to finish her college degree this year before they jumped into the marriage gig.
Oh, so Tuesday evening I was moving things.
Wednesday morning, we had a HUGE surprise. Around 7am, I was sitting on the couch, in my pjs, enjoying my morning coffee, zoned out with The Today Show, when I heard a commotion outside. My first thought was "What kind of stuff are those 2 horses into now!" Because, in the past, they have had their morning fun, waiting for me to feed, or possibly trying to get my attention, by turning over the water tank.
I look out the back door. All three dogs are carrying on, barking and looking toward the back field. I see the horses are standing alert in the corral, ears forward, still as statues. I really couldn't see anything. There's a stupid walnut tree with full leaf limbs hanging down . I DETEST walnut trees. I especially hate that one. I don't know who planted all these freaking walnut trees around here but.........I have to walk outside.
Then I see it. A huge tree down in the back field right over the fence. I knew there was damage to the fence. I ran out to make sure the horses were ok and it wasn't the stupid wild cherry tree growing along the creek. Don't like them either! Hubby told me if I didn't have horses I wouldn't hate walnt and cherry trees. The walnut trees I've never liked.....
So the horses are nervous but they must have been in the stall where they usually wait for me to feed in the mornings. Good thing because Chicken Little (I have been calling Spirit this lately for a variety of reasons) surely would have gone loco if he'd been out in the field when the tree fell. As it was, both horse felt fairly secure where they were.
The dogs quiet down because Alpha Mom is out there. After closing the back field gate and opening the gate to the front field I ran back inside to tell Hubby. He is getting ready for work and had no clue what had happened.
He walked out to the scene. Always a model of patience and low emotion. "Yeah, well, looks like maybe I'd better stay home and get this taken care of." But since it was sort of late already, he decided to go ahead and drive to work, then take half day vacation.
In the meantime I had to get #2 son awake for a day of work. Both of us were still tired from the night before helping #1 son move furniture. We hadn't gotten home from that job until 1am. That day we spent cutting up the tree,(it was a sugar maple) and mending the fence. Only three sections needed fixed and fortunately, the posts weren't broken. When Hubby builds something, he builds it to last forever.
Some people don't trust their animals to tell them things, I do, even my cats. I have learned though I may not see or hear what they do, for the most part they are not pulling anyone's leg. They hear or see something that feels like a threat to them. I always pay attention to my animals in that way.
Read a great article in the August issue of Horse and Rider magazine, page 44, about how your horse sees. Really opened MY eyes to some things like the things a horse sees. They see things as almost twice as big as they really are. I figure that felled tree definitley looked like a giant monster had fallen in their yard!
In the evening, after we were able to let the horses go back into that field I took an extra measure with Chicken Little. He was still acting like the monster was out there so I walked him out to the area, let him nose around for a few minutes and that's all he needed. Bo stayed in the stall. He could have cared less. He knew it was evening dinner time and he wasn't interested in whether the monster was still there or not.
I know one thing, I am lucky to have a handy Hubby and one who actually likes fixing things. If it weren't for him, I don't know that my life on the farm would be so enjoyable. He always encourages me and with his willingness in these kinds of situations, keeps me humble.